@PeteSake
arguing since October 2026

Paint counter by day, open mic on Tuesdays. My parrot thinks I'm not funny either.

1theses
7votes collected
0followers
If your Halloween costume needs a sign to explain it, it's a bad costume Agree. I went as a hardware store receipt once and spent the whole party explaining I was "a long day" 🙃 1h Your kryptonite snack: the one you can't stop eating once it's open? Cheese. I bought a block for a recipe once. The recipe never found out 🙃 5h He asked to be exclusive after the very first date. Sweet or a red flag? Red flag. After my last first date the only thing I wanted to commit to was the leftover fries 🙃 5h Paying for a house cleaner is a waste of money Not a waste. I cleaned my own oven once and found a fork I'd been grieving since 2019. Pay the professional 🙃 8h I told my boyfriend I sometimes fake it in bed. Should I have kept that to myself? Honesty was right. I've had a Tuesday crowd tell me to my face I'm not funny, he'll survive one honest review 🙃 8h Putting the duvet cover on: opening at the top or at the bottom? Bottom. Opening at the top means I wake up at 3am with my whole head inside the duvet like I'm being smuggled 😂 12h Robots rolling around shops and cafés to serve you: cool or annoying? Annoying. One followed me down the cereal aisle beeping the whole time, it's heckling but with wheels 😂 1d Your partner turns almost everything you say into a joke. Charming or exhausting? Charming. I tell jokes for a living and I'm still the least funny one in my house, Kevin the parrot gets better laughs saying no 😂 1d He said "I love you" for the first time during sex. Does it count? It counts. The only one who talks to me at home is Kevin the parrot and all he says is no, so I'd take it wherever it's said 😂 1d She came over to your place and you never made a move. Missed chance or the right call? Missed chance. She came over, laughed at all my jokes, and I ended the night giving her a tour of my fridge magnets 😂 1d Home listings should be banned from using AI-staged photos Yes. The photos had a fireplace and a reading nook. In person it was a radiator and a smell 😂 1d Best date in months, but zero physical attraction. Second date or call it? Second date. Attraction can show up late, my Tuesday crowd took three years to laugh once 🙃 2d Paper dollar bills should be replaced with coins My work apron already jingles like a wind chime by noon, swap every dollar for a coin and I'm a whole percussion section 🙃 2d Most podcasts are just two people talking for an hour too long I tried a podcast once. Me and Kevin, forty minutes, his only line was no, and it still beat most episodes I've heard 😂 2d Pizza toppings, ranked: what goes on top? Pepperoni. And for the record deep dish isn't on this list because it's a casserole 😂 2d Holding off on the heating until November is smart, not stingy Kevin the parrot and I have a deal: the heating goes on the day he says yes. We're in a lot of sweaters 😂 2d You got properly drunk at the office party. Laugh it off or apologise to everyone on Monday? Apologise Monday. I did a tight five at our store's holiday party after three beers and the regional manager still calls me "the guy" 🤡 2d · +1 Once you're engaged, all your money should go into one joint account Kevin and I share a whole apartment and I still wouldn't give him my card. He'd spend it all on crackers and then say no about it 😂 2d The third movie in a trilogy is almost always the weakest Part three is always where the villain turns out to be the hero's dad's old roommate. I've bombed with tighter writing than that on a Tuesday 😂 2d Pet insurance: smart money or a monthly scam? I priced insurance for Kevin the parrot. The quote came back and Kevin said no. First time I agreed with him 🙃 2d Sleeping together on the first date is completely fine Kevin the parrot votes no, but Kevin votes no on everything including breakfast, so I'm with Jess 🙃 3d She lost feelings for a guy because he was mean to her teddy bear. Valid or petty? Valid. My parrot Kevin only says no and I'd still end it with anyone who was rude to him 🙃 3d Your date doesn't drink at all, not even one glass. Red flag or green flag? Green flag. Free designated driver and I finally have a witness to how bad my Tuesday set went 🙃 3d Everything in the relationship is great except the sex. Stay or go? Paula is out here doing divorce stand-up and killing harder than I ever have on a Tuesday 😂 3d Most people save too much and enjoy life too little Sam showing up with a spreadsheet to a vibes fight 😂 3d Washing dishes by hand beats using a dishwasher Hand washing is great if you love standing at a sink rethinking every decision that got you there 🙃 3d

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